Thursday, March 22, 2012

Oh the things you learn about yourself!

Since I became a military wife and moved to Virginia with Jarrett, I have learned A LOT of things about myself! Some good and some bad, but hey that's just the way it is. We all have good traits and bad traits. We all have those things that we love about ourselves, and then we have those things that we really can't stand about ourselves. Here is what I have discovered.

1. I really love living with my husband: Nowadays it seems that everyone lives together for a while before they get married. Jarrett and I did not have this chance. In some ways I'm glad that we didn't live together before marriage, but then again, I was really nervous about how things would be when I got to VA! We had been together for nearly 5 years before I moved, meaning we had spent 5 years back a forth, not joined at the hip like most couples. We never had the chance to be together every day, but before I knew it, we were married and actually living together. The time in my life that I thought would never come was actually happening. I was so afraid of what it was going to be like. Would we fight constantly? Would I hate living with a man? Would he hate living with a woman? Well everything turned out to be the opposite of what I was afraid of. Our communication is stronger than ever, we don't fight as much as I thought we would, I love the fact that we have our own room and all and all, I love the fact that we have our own place. I love the little things about him that annoy me-- not putting dirty dishes in the dish washer, leaving tooth paste in the sink, leaving hairs from shaving in the sink and so on. I love so many things about us being together here. What was I so worried about?

2. Home decor: I have discovered my inner passion for home decor. I think it comes from having my first place, but whatever it is, it's nuts! I find myself living in Pier 1, going to Marshall's constantly, buying candles like a mad woman, rearranging my living room, spending almost all of my money on everything and anything for our apartment and so on. Jarrett makes fun of me so much. Every time he comes home from work there is something new in the apartment. I find myself buying more stuff for the home rather than clothes and all of the other stuff that us women love to spoil ourselves with. Now, thanks to Pinterest, I am in to all kinds of DIY projects. Yikes! Goodness gracious I am going to be a crazy person when we buy our first house.

3. The enjoyment of cooking: Baking has never ever been a problem for me. I love sweets so much that I am always baking something. Every time we go grocery shopping Jarrett begs me to bake something. I'm actually not too bad as a baker, although, I would like to expand my palate and bake more difficult desserts instead of always going for the easy and obvious ones. Just like Rachael Ray loves cooking and hates baking, I was always the opposite. I hated cooking and loved baking. Having a father who is like the king of cooking and always made sure my brothers and I had an amazing healthy dinner was amazing yet scary. The same with my mother in-law! She's amazing and her cooking is phenomenal! I had a lot to live up to when it came to being a wife and cooking for my husband and that literally freaked me out. took me long enough, but I have finally started cooking on a regular basis and I thoroughly enjoy it! Of course I'm not like Paula Deen or anything, but I'm cooking and the fact that I'm doing it and liking it so far is a big step for me. Eventually I will get out all of my cook books and start following harder recipes, but for now I will just keep getting use to the easier ones! The hubby has liked everything I've made so far, so I guess I'm doing my job!

4. More of a Momma's girl: So, I thought I was a momma's girl before, but now it's really bad! As soon as I moved here, I think I missed her more than anyone. We are seriously like Lorelei and Rory on Gilmore Girls! It's crazy! What's really hard is that she misses me just as much as I miss her. I'm trying to not go to Maryland as much anymore because I want to prepare myself for when we get stationed somewhere farther away. The fact that we could get stationed anywhere at any time is something I need to be ready for. Of course I would miss her and my family, but I would like to get to the point that I don't get too homesick like I did when I moved here. Sometimes I really do hate being such a momma's girl, but I really feel so lucky to have a mother that I am so close to. It pretty much runs in the family with my mom being very close to her mother. I can only hope to have the same relationship with my daughter!

5. I am so picky: Goodness gracious I am picky. I never really thought I was that picky until now. The main thing that I have been very particular about is finding my first full time job out of college. I have pretty much been on 10 thousand interviews, been offered about 4 positions, actually accepted 2 of those positions, turned those positions down when I realized that it wasn't what I wanted and gone back to retail. Yes I know. Crazy. You don't have to tell me twice. It has taken me a little bit to get over all of this stuff that I've been through, but I'm getting there. I am realizing what I want and what I don't want in a job. Even though I'm still working retail, I'm not so bitter about it anymore. I work at Hallmark and I absolutely love it and will continue to work there at night when I do find my full time position. I work with some of the most amazing women ever and I just love them. I wouldn't trade them for anything. I feel so blessed to know them. God really does open doors when others close, even if it's not what you think it will be. Yeah, I know you're suppose to graduate and get an amazing job right after college and it is still hard knowing that I haven't started my career yet, but I know that everything will work out. It just takes time. I will not apologize or put myself down anymore. I refuse to.

6. Worry wart times ten: Getting married, graduating from college and moving away from my family and friends has definitely made me worry more than I ever have. I mean in college I always worried about my grades and I completely stressed myself out over them. Now I have so many different worries that consume my mind. I can't even begin to write them all out because there is so many. I really have no clue how to relax. I know we are human and we naturally worry about things, but I feel like I worry too much that I am not trusting God like I should. I am learning to just surrender and put my life in his hands and I know he will take care of everything and that there is nothing to worry about after all.

Ahhh I have rambled long enough! I promise tomorrow will be a short, simple and sweet post!


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