Thursday, April 24, 2014

The Real Military Wives of Blogland [Link Up] and some exciting news

Mal Smiles
Hello all! Today I am linking up with Samantha from The Samantha Show and Mallory from Mal Smiles to bring you The Real Military Wives of Blogland! I absolutely love this linkup because you all get to hear all of my thoughts on being a military wife and how I got to this amazing point in my life. Being a military wife is a role that I never imagined playing. If you would have told me years and years ago that this was the main role that I would occupy in my life, I would have laughed in your face. Throughout this whole process of becoming who I am today, I have learned that I am stronger than I ever imagined! Here is how it all began!

The summer after my high school graduation, I began working at the local burger restaurant Fuddruckers. I had friends that worked there so it naturally worked out for my to get a summer job there. Little did I know that I would meet my future husband at my summer job. Jarrett had already been with the restaurant for about a year before I came along. He was one of the main cooks and I was a cashier/baker/guest services representative. I kid you not, the second I saw him for the first time, I knew I was looking at my husband. I know it is clich√© to say that I "just knew" when I met him, but I really did. It was the most breath taking moment of my life. The wind had been knocked out of me. I can even really explain just how amazing the feeling was. You had to feel it to believe it. 

Back in the day, Jarrett was pretty shy and not very talkative. It scared me with how I much I liked him and it scared me even more because he was not a very forward guy like most guys. I figured that if he really liked me he would at least talk to me at work and seem interested. Nope. No interest seemed to be there. When I met Jarrett, I was still trying to come back from a terrible heart break that I endured in high school, so since nothing seemed to be happening with Jarrett, I saw that as a sign to just take a step back, be single for a while and focus on college. I decided to do that until a co-worker gave Jarrett my cell phone number. One night while I was out to dinner with my dad, I got a text from Jarrett. We had little small talk via text for a couple hours and then he finally asked me out on a date to the movies. That text was the beginning of our beautiful life together. 
Now, lets fast forward to when I found out that I would be an Air Force girlfriend. When I found out that Jarrett had enlisted in the Air Force, he was literally a month away from leaving for basic training. I was floored and stunned that he waited until the last minute to tell me. He was terrified of me leaving him because of the life that he'd be living. The thought of leaving him didn't even enter my mind at that point. The thought that entered my mind was that he'd wise up and realize that he didn't need a girlfriend while entering the military. A lot of guys didn't want that distraction entering in to the military. I would not have blamed him if he ended it. Well folks, he didn't end it and neither did I. 
Before Jarrett left for basic training, he asked me to marry him and obviously I said yes! I went from being a scared and heart broken girl to a girl engaged to a man in the Air Force after dating him for only a few months. Who was I? Was I ready for this life? Was I prepared for everything that would come along with being a military wife. Did I want this life? Was I making the right decision? Question after question invaded my mind at this point. I then decided that I would continue to focus on my studies and that no matter what happened with Jarrett, I would take it as it came. Before we knew it the years started flying by. Jarrett was stationed in Virginia three hours away from me. We drove back in forth between states to be together. I graduated from Wor-Wic with my Associates degree in Business and transferred to Salisbury University to obtain my Bachelors degree in English. Jarrett went through two long deployments to Japan. We decided to get married at the courthouse. I graduated from Salisbury University with my Bachelors degree. I moved to Virginia to begin my new life with my husband.  
Before I knew it, I was a military wife living three hours away from my family and fiends. I was essentially on my own now. I had to learn how to be a wife and make my husband hubby in the home. I also had to find a real full time job now that I was a college graduate. Failure one after another hit me like a ton of bricks. I could not find a career in Virginia to save my life. I was also so homesick and felt like a failure in front of my husband. It is times like these when you realize just how much someone loves you. Jarrett loved me through my pain and failures. I felt like I did not deserve him because I kept failing at everything I did. His love pulled me through. Although I only worked retail positions in Virginia, my job at the retail store Hallmark really pulled me through my job rut. I met some of my absolute bet friends there and they helped me to overcome my home sickness. I began to really come out of my shell in Virginia because of this job. I finally felt comfortable in my new married life away from my family and friends. 
So, you know what happens when you get comfortable and when you get entirely too comfortable? Life throws you a curve ball. Or in my case, a ginormous curve ball. A ginormous curve ball large enough to take out a whole country. Yep. Orders. Crazy, insane, far far away orders. Orders to Alaska. BAM! I was so shocked when we found out we would be PCSing to Alaska. Alaska has been on my husband's list ever since he enlisted so I don't know why I was shocked when we received the orders. I guess I just could not fathom us living anywhere but Maryland or Virginia. Well, we were going to Alaska and we had to be there in five months. It was happening. Military life was about to get even more real. Here came the real goodbyes. Not three hours away from family and friends type of goodbyes. These were I am moving 4,000 miles away from everyone goodbyes. The type of goodbyes that you absolutely dread having to say. 
As hard as it was, we packed up our life, left all the people that we loved in Virginia, visited and said goodbye to the rest of our family and friends in Maryland and drove 4,000 miles to our new home in Alaska. As hard as it was to move here, I did it. We have been here seven months now and it has been the best seven months for us. As soon as we got here we got into a beautiful spacious house on base, we bought a new vehicle all on our own, I finally found a great career with tons of room for promotion and we got another puppy.  Also, I have not felt so crazy homesick. I feel strong. I feel stronger than I have ever felt before. I feel like a new person. 

I am here in this beautiful state living this life with my husband and our two adorable dogs. Our life has changed so much over the past eight years and I would not change a thing about how everything played out for us. Now that we are in Alaska and all settled down, we are officially in the process of expanding our family and I do not mean with a third dog. After eight years together, we are finally trying to have a baby and we could not be more thrilled. As I am excited about potentially becoming a mom soon, one thing that I wish people knew about military spouses is that not all of us want to start popping out kids right away because we are married to the military. I am that wife that is determined to have a full time career, raise a family and be an Air Force wife. That is me and those are my goals. 

Every military wife has her own thoughts on whether to have a full time career, be a stay at home wife, have kids, have a full time career and kids or be a stay at home mom. We are just like every other woman trying to figure out what will be best for her, her husband and her family. We are told that we should do this or do that because of our husband's job. People assume that we will do this or do that because we will be moving a lot. Let me tell you. There are no limits on us military wives. If I want to do something, I will fight for it. We all will fight for what we want while we fight to take care of everything while our husbands are gone. We are fighters and we fight for what we want just like all women and wives fight for what they want for themselves. People need to understand that we can do anything that we put our minds to. We are not limited. 
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2 comments:

  1. Ever since I started watching "Living Alaska" on HGTV I have wanted to live there! lol I'm sure you guys are loving it! Glad to hear that you found a great job and are adjusting well. Found you through the link up-look forward to your Alaskan adventures! xo, Sarah @movingeastonwest

    ReplyDelete
  2. I love your story! It is so similar to my boyfriend and I's! I hope we don't follow in your footsteps with Alaska PCS orders thought!

    www.mylifeandmyairman.com

    ReplyDelete

Hello everyone! Thank you so much for your comments! I love hearing what you have to say, so comment away! You can also reach me through e-mail @ khayman27@gmail.com! :)

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